How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize