4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
