Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
