Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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