Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize