highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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