Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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