Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
