Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
