That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
