I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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