Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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