shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
