omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
