is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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