I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
