i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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