how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
