Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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