Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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