I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
