Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
