girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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