Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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