my being single is dangerous.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
