idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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