she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
