Well douche your snatch and let's go!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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