We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
