After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
