never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
