Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
