Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize