i think i have herpe
just one?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
