dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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