none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pray to the hookup gods
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
