I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
