We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
