And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
