I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
