he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
