I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
