She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
