Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
