never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
