We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
