i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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