you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
