Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
