We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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