smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
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