remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
