Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
