Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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