I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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