only if we run a train.
done.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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