put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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