what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
