It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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