i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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