it was like eating out sand paper
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
