end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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