he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize