Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
