She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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